To Pee or Not to Pee? – That is the Question

Art by Rose Dixon-Campbell

Those of us living at college all know what it’s like to open a shower door, unsuspectingly, and to be hit by the strong stench of piss leading us to quickly shut the door and move onto the next stall. After testing a few, we eventually find one that doesn’t reek and turn the shower on to enjoy the warm water trickling down our skin only then to notice the yellow-tinged bottoms of the shower curtains…

 

We learnt quickly that you never enter a shower without thongs. Never.

 

I’m sure most of us have also been halfway through a shower, had the annoying realization that we’d had too much tea or alcohol beforehand and been faced with the decision – to pee or not to pee? We either rapidly wash or if we can’t hold on, we’re faced with two options. One, grab a towel and run half naked through the hallways to the bathrooms dripping wet, quickly pee, wipe, flush, and run back to the shower. Two, pee in the shower.

 

Ok as someone who dislikes the stink of pee in shower stalls, hear me out about why peeing in the shower is actually not that bad. Firstly, there are a whole bunch of other bodily fluids that end up in showers. It’s actually impossible not to have period blood in showers when you are on your period. You need to clean!! Ask me any day, I’d much rather step barefoot in someone’s piss than someone’s period blood. Wouldn’t you?

 

Secondly, peeing in the shower is better for the environment. You save a flush, the energy used to heat up the water when you realize halfway through having a shower that you need to pee, you pop out to the toilet and pop back. For those who wipe when they pee you also save toilet paper. If anything, we should be encouraging people to pee in the shower more regularly – it all goes to the same place anyway!

 

Now, if you’re going to pee, you have to do it properly. No one wants to be hit by the stench of piss at the end (or start, or middle) of their day. Shower-peers, here’s my advice to you:

  1.     Aim is important. Over the drain. If you miss, guess what? There’s a handy hose already flowing for you to rinse it down with. Switch to the jet setting if necessary. In no circumstances should the pee ever reach the curtains. I mean ever.
  2.     Pee early in the shower. This one’s for you and others – you don’t want to wash yourself then pee and walk out of a shower smelling like pee. If you pee early, it also means that you can wash it all down and cover up the smell which leads me to my next point.
  3.     Buy some really nice smelling shampoos, conditioners, body washes and use them ! Can recommend all things coconut smelling. Use them reasonably quickly after peeing. The stronger smelling the products, the better.
  4.     Drink more water! The more hydrated you are, the less your pee smells.

Take the above precautions and shower peeing is harmless, maybe even a good thing. Shower poops on the other hand – never, I mean never, ok.

 

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We acknowledge the Ngunnawal and Ngambri people, who are the Traditional Custodians of the land on which Woroni, Woroni Radio and Woroni TV are created, edited, published, printed and distributed. We pay our respects to Elders past and present. We acknowledge that the name Woroni was taken from the Wadi Wadi Nation without permission, and we are striving to do better for future reconciliation.