The love doctor isn’t immune to rejection. Did you know that during O-Week I made, for lack of a better term, over 100 ‘cold’ approaches and unashamedly the result were far from stellar. There is a simple fact of life here people, and that is you will get rejected. Once you come to terms with this simple, and I’ll admit, difficult truth, your ability to mingle, flirt, seduce, and find great loves will increase dramatically.
People say that dating and hooking up is a numbers game. Well, in some respects it is, there are numbers, like phone numbers, but I imagine what most are considering is the number of people you have to go through before you find ‘the one’- be it the one for that Thursday night or the one for life. People watch their perennially successful friends and see and think that the pro’s or the naturals, just go up to any random person on the street and get the instant date.
I once met a guy in Mooseheads who had over 12 women messaging him that night to find out where he was. Ultimately, the key is this, you have to approach and put yourself out there. You have to meet as many people as possible and practice your social and seductive skills until you become so excellent that you increase you chance of clicking with that one person across the street with ease. Locked in your stagnant pond (forgive the wording) of your college, friendship group or course-mates, your chances of successfully pulling will go from low to woe, the more time you spend with them. Take the next step, explore new clubs and societies, bars, sports or other extra-curriculars, not simply for pulling, silly, but to find others with similar interests. Similar interests = banter, banter = numbers, numbers = dates. Boom.
Now for my pièce de résistance, what I call: The Holy Trinity of Rejection. The first point is not to take rejection personally. Do your best to not rely on validation from other person, in the form of living for compliments or praise or being a ‘pleaser’. The more you rely on others for your self-esteem, the harder it will be to lose the fear of rejection. Secondly, you have no idea whatsoever what that person is going through. Maybe they just broke up with someone, maybe it’s a bad day, maybe the ex is back in the picture, may they’re feeling unattractive, maybe they just dropped their phone, maybe this, maybe that, all you can control is yourself, so you may as well feel good and let them feel your positive vibes. Finally, dear listener, you might get rejected once, but sometimes the timing is just off, give it a week and try again. I usually give someone two chances to have a date, after that I move on and so should you, until they reach out to you that is.
All the best in your future endeavours, my pupils.