Woroni's Guide to Armchair Activism

Artwork: Bonnie Burns

Everyone, it’s 2020. Bigotism is out. Activism is in. But in the age of staying in, how can you help out? The staff at Woroni has got your back. We’ve compiled a list of the top ten most foolproof ways you can pretend to make a change. 

 

  1. Don’t skip Youtube ads. Support independent artists. That million follower mummy-vlogger turned family prankster you secretly watch needs every cent she can squeeze out of that Squarespace/Audiotech/ExpressVPN sponsorship. 
  2. Watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. Yass. Queen. Slay. 
  3. If someone brings up disability, make sure to add to the conversation with that time you tore your ACL and had to wear a moonboot for, like, a month so you actually get it. Accessibility is important. 
  4. Watch half of a documentary on the meat industry and put a picture of the screen on your story. It’s okay not to finish it because it’s a bit confronting and gory and you shouldn’t have to shoulder that, but don’t mention this on Instagram. 
  5. Mention your lesbian friend as often as possible. You cannot stress enough how cool you are with it and how cool she is. Bonus points if you can drop into conversation how her girlfriend has a shaved head or mullet. 
  6. Only use the disabled toilets when you really have to go or are super drunk. Feel guilty and don’t make eye contact with other bathroom users when you come out of the stall.
  7. Buy your clothes from a thrift store. In dire straits any op- shop will do, but it’s best to stick to expensive vintage boutiques that price up ugly motorcycle t-shirts from the 90s. This is good for your bank account and the environment. 
  8. Talk about how you travelled to Southeast Asia on your gap year instead of Europe. The less developed the better. Mention the super poor quality of the hostels you stayed in but how it was worth it. Bonus if you have photos with smiling children.
  9. Own a bicycle with a cute basket. Sure you might only ride it when the weather’s between 17 and 25 degrees and the location is within walking distance, but during those 5-10 times a year you’re so much better than those scum driving cars. 
  10. Put the venus symbol in your bio #girlboss.