Urgent Announcement: CIA Investigating ANU/ISIS Link

In a Woroni exclusive, it was revealed today that the CIA are monitoring all communications within the ANU, following a spike in ISIS related searches within the college. A potential female leader, known only as “Isis” is still at large and may pose serious threat to the university.

The spike occurred at the start of bush week, with authorities warned that this may lead to an ISIS related event, potentially a crash, occurring on the ANU campus. The CIA have been trying to find a major ISIS related female figure, worshiped roughly 4000 years ago around the Nile. Due to spikes in ISIS searches, it is suspected that she may reside within the ANU, particularly in the classics and ancient history department.

Recent research conducted by the CIA into early Egyptian mythological texts has resulted in the discovery of a link between ISIS and students studying ancient history, particularly ancient Egypt. The CIA has promptly arrested all students studying Egyptology as a precaution.

The police are currently tracking students that have been posting about changes to ISIS on stalkerspace. This is to ensure that they are not using the medium to meet up with other potential ISIS members, under the guise of “subject selection” and “fee problems”.

Authorities have informed police on campus to deviate from their normal routine of bike helmet inspections and to be on the lookout for increased ISIS activity around the classics museum as well as increasing surveillance on stalkerspace.

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