*so long as you are sexually attracted to women, it’s all cool if you’re not.

I think it was Abraham Lincoln, or Freddie Mercury, or the middle child of that band Hanson, that once said “one’s university years are the perfect time to discover oneself, romantically”, which I assumed was a process most boys went through at the age of 13. Regardless, university, for those of you not tied down by the shackles of love, is a fantastic time to unleash your inner Romeo, Casanova or Freddy Krueger, depending on your flirting style, and there is bound to be crossover in who will take your fancy.

1) The Girl Who Lends You Something In Your First Tute

Dude, she smiled and she gave it to you. I mean, it’s just a pen, but it could be more than that. What if she wants to get coffee? Maybe even dinner? Man, I reckon your children would look fantastic. Maybe you should just yell out “I love you” immediately? That’ll work? Man, it makes it so much easier since you read so much into a fairly normal gesture. Nothing unhealthy about that.

2) The Go-Getter

Nothing is sexier than someone who has no time to talk to you since they are very busy and important, just look at Cam Wilson’s success rate, despite his mediocre looks. At some stage you are going to get a ‘vote for me’ facebook message or come across a poster in Union Court that will inspire nothing but the deepest affection within you.

3) The Hot Tutor

Nothing is more attractive than knowledge, and there is one tutor who just has that in spades. Never mind how frequently she references her husband and teenage children, it’s really you that has stolen her fancy. Maybe if you keep asking insanely obvious questions she might notice you?

4) The Worker

Be it Gods, Harvest, Subway or even the bakery lady (Woroni is a judgement-free zone) there is nothing like a little friendly customer service to get those romantic juices flowing.

5) That girl who was once in that thing that you were watching, I dunno maybe it was a sportsball game or a play or a concert or a choir practice or tango class, and you looked at her and it kinda looked like she was looking at you but she may have been looking at Geoff but you don’t know, but you are pretty sure that you know her name but can’t add on her on facebook but then you see her in Meche and you introduce yourself but then it turns out that you guys have already met and it’s really awkward.

Yeah, about that…