Style Species of the ANU

ANU students are an interesting mix in terms of their style choices. A stroll through Union Court reveals a curious mix of the hipster, the designer, the lurid and the loud and, of course, the unmitigated disaster. Of course, all style choices are seasonal and during exam time it is generally a free-for-all with most college kids donning pajamas and unwashed sweatshirts for the entire duration. Shaving is foregone by more than just genus Hipstera and footwear is either thongs or uggboots. Everyone’s posture changes as the entire campus slumps under the weight of hitherto untouched textbooks. Pick an ordinary day and a pair of binoculars, however, and you will observe the many varying style species and their often flamboyant plumage. Here are some of the more common….

1. Pretencionis lawis
Most commonly found imbibing caffeine at 2 Before 10, ostentatiously “studying” in the library or complaining to exasperated engineers about how hard Law is, this breed is one of the most distinctive at the ANU. The most obvious marker of the law student is the colour palate – sombre greys, dark blues, blacks and white. Jeans, smart button down shirts, expensive coats and (fake) leather shoes are also hallmarks of the style. To finish off, most accessorise with a Macbook and a vocabulary largely consisting of incorrectly applied and contracted Latin maxims.

2. Sneanus physicarna
Sneans – the uniquely hideous combination of ‘sneakers’ and ‘jeans’ made inevitably worse by the fact that the jeans are baggy and the sneakers are New Balance. There are several species within this genus including Sneanus mathus and Sneanus engineerus however sneans are virtually ubiquitous in the physics labs. There is, of course, an element of practicality to this however it tends to spill over to the everyday and even to the formal. Overly long hair belonging to a college age Warhammer enthusiast is also a key part of this look.

3. Jockus engineerus
A surprisingly elusive breed, they can usually be spotted playing some form of sportsball outside the Engineering building at unusual times of day. The style is somewhat eclectic and varies widely depending on the time of year however a fondness for thongs and canvas shoes, reasonably loose jeans or board shorts and casual tshirts are fairly consistent year round. Fake RayBans bought in Bali and distinct tan lines are also common. There is also a characteristic stance – legs akimbo with arms crossed and hands tucked in to accentuate the biceps – and a certain awkwardness around women while sober.

4. Hipstera artus
We’ve all seen them. They are occasionally observed coming to and from tutorials and are sometimes even glimpsed at lectures. Hipstera artus is best observed, however, their proper habitat at Harvest or Lonsdale Street Roasters. The jeans are skin-tighter, the shirts are buttoned to the very top and shoes are either still at home or incongruously elongated in the toe. Ladies are characterised by an incongruous combination of colours, both winter and summer clothing and an unfortunate tendency to mix socks with non-enclosed footwear. Like Pretencionis lawis, this breed are sometimes spotted carrying a Macbook however it is more common to see them without any study-suitable equipment whatsoever.

5. Florus developmentus
Ever been lectured about the proper way to improve education in third world countries or bullied into joining one of Oaktree’s endless campaigns? If you have, odds are you’ve also noticed the particular style approach common among those doing Development Studies or, equally likely, a degree through the Fenner School. Floral prints, natural fabrics and a casual approach characterise this particular species and genii pants outside exam period are a distinct hazard.

6. Hoodus mathus
We all feel the desire to rock up in a hoody ever now and again. Indeed, for many it is a constant struggle to take it off and don less comfortable clothing when making public appearances. Granted, there is nothing inherently wrong with a good, comfortable jumper when going to and from freezing lecture hall to freezing lecture hall or before a good workout and when paired with some good boots or shoes and a nice pair of jeans, it can be singularly attractive. When you know there’s nothing underneath, it can be simultaneously frustrating and exceptionally convenient. When paired with bad shoes and a plastic backpack, however, the hoody takes on a more unfortunate aspect and clearly marks out those students doomed to spend substantial periods of time with calculators, LaTeX and bad posture.