As a student, you have a love of free things – unless you are a member of the Young Libs, in which case you only love the free market. It is fair to assume you have heard of Student Space: it has free fridge space, free hot water and free contraception. The perfect place to eat, drink and be merry. Back to love though, if you love something then you follow it on Facebook. Lovers of “The Space” may have noticed the following ANUSA Facebook broadcast:

“Come on down to the Student Space! There are lots of amazing freebies; $1 coffee and soft drinks, microwaves to heat your lunches and fun times all round”

Either ANUSA does not know how to use a semi-colon or they think that a gold coin is the new freebie. Lets assume the latter. What they really meant is, “come on down so we can take your Centrelink.”

Paying for your own caffeine, the audacity! Since when did anything associated with a university believe in “user pays”? Is ANUSA trying to align itself with the inevitable Liberal government? Do we have to pay for the inane “free” brochures that are only ever used as serviette substitutes? So many questions one must cough up in order to find the answers.

However the most pressing question is, what does this mean for the future? There will be no “fun times all around”, unless you have a surplus of gold coins. It will just be “fun times at Burgmann, Johns and the College of Finance”.  Meaning there will also be Polo shirts and a surplus of testosterone. Definitely not “fun times all around”.

If ANUSA wants this for our future, and with it $1 as the new freebie, then we can worry for the future of our collective identity as moochers. The only thing we can do to prepare for the oncoming onslaught of charges is to become a card-carrying member of the Young Libs.