A friendly word going straight out to the lads. It’s easy around this time of semester, and even around the mid semester exam period, to begin to lose yourself in your work. Or, in some cases, lose your work all together and focus more on your relationship. What’s important, is that you find a healthy balance, and evaluate if your current relationship helps or hinders what it is you’re really here at university for.
Women, want you at your best. I know the notorious, “if she can’t stand with me at my worst, she can’t have me at my best” self-patter, is feel good, but you’ve got to put that on the back burner. Why? Because, if for some reason, she can’t have you on a rainy day, or wait for you for a few weeks, or there’s something happening in her life that you can’t be there for, because you’re either neglecting your commitments to her or ignoring her altogether, she might very well walk away.
If you find yourself too heavily invested in your work, and your relationship isn’t a source of positive strength, encouragement, respite or fun, then you should really re-evaluate it. If you find that, you’re so involved in your work that she ends up re-evaluating you it’s because you’re failing to make her feel valued, special and most of all, demonstrating that you’re able to handle whatever life throws at you handled. Face it, if you can’t get a couple of quizzes and assignments handled, how are you going to handle 2 kids, a dog, mortgage, in-laws, bills, repairs, holiday planning, that one emergency and a crazy day in the office, plus all of her own life too? I’m not saying you have to appear like marriage material. Just realise that you’re going to be this busy for the rest of your life, and if you’re planning on having someone along for the ride, University is the perfect time to try and perfect the balance between work and relationships.
All in all, it’s about finding that healthy balance. I’m not saying to go and take a break from the relationship, and I’m not saying turn into a cold fish or starting handing in your work late. What I am saying is that, making sure that, you don’t let your work take over, you don’t let her take over, and most of all, when it all gets too much, you don’t completely fall apart. Despite what you see in movies, breaking down and letting it all go isn’t that sexy. What’s sexy is being honest, open, humble and connecting with your feelings, but in a way that shows your being masculine, you’re not a robot, and that, she can see a vulnerable side to you, but with an underlying attitude of “I got this”.