With Valentines Day fast approaching, most people fall into a couple of different camps; some of us might be happily shacked up, others might be desperately single, some might be in the early stages of blossoming into a relationship or, in some instances, on the verge of ejecting from one. No matter where you find yourself, the important thing is to ensure that you stay true to your self and maintain the values that are important to you.
“Prof. Love, I’m desperately pining after this woman and I think she is stunning in every way. What should I do, I’ve done the following but nothing seems to be working, with Valentines Day fast approaching how should I advance Professor?
Some background info: she’s just graduated and is starting her medical internship. I’ve done everything I can, by planting myself in her environment; for example, I’ve spoken to her father (I’m old fashioned) and even tried to integrate into the social hangouts which she haunts too. In a last ditch effort, I ended up buying her a really expensive stethoscope, which cost about 500 dollars. I gave it too her and didn’t get much of a reaction, although I did box it up with a pretty ribbon and gave it to her at a family gathering. I’m a bit older than her and one night we ended up walking alone together near the water, which was really nice and we got to talk a lot. She ended up telling me she wasn’t interested in anything, but I’ve got a feeling I can win her over, especially with Valentines Day coming up, especially since I have given her this present too. So Prof, what do you think I should do for her this Valentines Day? “
Answer: You should advance by walking away until she reaches out to you. At this stage, I am sure that many of our readers would be shouting all sorts of things about where you took a mis-step in this situation. But rather than cut you down, I will give you a bit of a working template which I think you should use.
Step 1: Give her the time and space to figure out what she is going to do with the gift you gave her, I think this will set the tone for the future of your interactions together.
Step 2: Since she has already told you that she isn’t looking for anything, the answer to “maybe she’s playing games” or, “she’ll warm up to me” will become clear once you remove yourself from supply. Meaning, if she doesn’t reach out to you when you walk away, then, she really meant what she said. Also, don’t go blowing up her phone or sending her stuff on facebook, hang off for a good while at least.
Step 3: No matter what ends up happening on Valentines Day, meaning, if you get a date or don’t, I’d advise going for the long haul with this one, if you really want her. Spend time on yourself and try to understand what she might want in a long term guy, because clearly the impression she currently has of you isn’t giving her the hots. If you are looking for a time limit, then I suggest waiting till she reaches out to you my good friend.
Grade: I think I’ll give you an extension before we talk about grades.
To conclude my first column, let me return to my opening statement about everyone in each others respective boats, (you can take that two ways if you like) and staying true to yourself. If you are shacked up, take the lead and give your special someone a time to remember and throw in some sort of unexpected surprise. For those of you who might be sensing a break up or might be in the process of one, well if the heartache doesn’t get you the irony will, carry on my way’ward son’s (or daughters). Finally, if you are single, don’t despair, you might catch a rebound around this time (if you’re into that). The most important thing whether you are single or shacked up, is to find a way to show the person you care about some love, or at the very least, indulge in some self love.