House of Cards: ANU

There are two people in this world; those who follow, and those who lead. I am of the latter category, but unlike you my leadership isn’t tokenistic or limited. I am one of those who desire to rule ANU.

You’ve heard of me. The word BNOC was invented so people would understand just how much of a big deal I am. I despise that word now. It has become watered down, a mockery of what it really means to be a big deal. To put it simply, being the ANUSA presidency is my birthright.

October 31st 2015.

I’m one of the few people who looks good in fluoro. I’ve already started my campaign for next year’s ANUSA elections and so far things are going perfectly. People stop me in the streets, to first tell me how much they admire me, then to tell me how much they enjoy looking at me.

A message bleeps onto my phone. A gen rep candidate. They are offering funds to the campaign. They just don’t get it. Campaigning isn’t about funds, or money. Campaigning is about the thrill, the thrill of winning and the thrill of gaining power.

Another message. This one is from her. She is the only person who understands. My lady MacBeth, although she knows I am the one calling the shots. I trust her absolutely, and only she understands the feeling of being born to rule.

We have a plan. We need to teach our gen reps a lesson in ruthlessness. Politics is a game where you have to be able to pull the trigger. It is no good to say you have what it takes, it is something that needs to be proven.

In the twilight of Halloween, we meet by Sullies. The sun set behind the hills in the distant as the last rays of the day glisten across the surface of the water. The whole ticket is there. There eyes fixated on me, their God and their ticket to electoral salvation.

“Politics is a game. But it is a game where you need to do stuff you never thought could do before.”

I curl my lip in anticipation of my next line, waiting to see the terror in their eyes. Our masterstroke that will inspire loyalty and fear.

“See that duck? I am going to go and kill that duck”

November 1st 2015.

I don’t care for Facebook. The lives of narcissistic plebeians desperately trying to scrounge likes off one another. Today, the notifications are piling up. I ignore them. I have better things to do with my life.

A text. From her.
“Check stalkerspace”

There! That post I am tagged in! A gen rep candidate has posted about my actions last night. He doesn’t get it. People will see my strength. The fact that I can take action and go beyond what is required for a candidate. I don’t read the comments.

My phone rings. An unknown number. It is the chancellor. He was just saw the video.

I explain to him about leadership and strength. He tells me it is disgusting. I even tell him the truth. He doesn’t listen, saying that such an action should never have taken place in the first instance.

I am told to take a sabbatical from ANU. Talk to a shrink. Have some time away from this place. I protest. The Chancellor tells me it is not a request, it is an order.

22nd June. 2016.

ANUSA elections tickets closed yesterday. She has announced her ticket, using all my ideas, my people. I interject on Facebook, these were my ideas! I am hounded by the people. Murderer! Inhuman! Sadist! I could tell them the truth. They wouldn’t care anyway.

23rd of June. 2016.

She has launched her own ticket. All of those who were previously backing me have now supported her. She will get elected.

Nobody will care that I didn’t kill the duck. It was merely a dummy I hid in the grass and pervaded under the twilight. I am not a monster; this was her idea all along. Her idea to show me off as a leader of strength, a leader of action.

Then it hits.
It was her idea to remove me from this campaign. To clear the way to ensure that she could take my place. I am nothing now, cut off from my university, a pariah.

She’s taken my presidency, my campaign, my ideas, my birthright. But this means nothing. I shall return. I will retake my position. In the cut-throat world of university politics, it is the ones who you think are beat that slip you the dagger in the night. I will return. Watch out ANU.

Image: Joanne Leong