horoscope signs

Campus Horoscopes

Art by Zoe Bilston

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

There’s no doubt that you natural-born leaders have been busy running for ANUSA positions over the latest phase of the moon. If you were successful, congrats. But be wary of spikes in your temper, which will invariably rise in conjunction with Canberra’s weather forecast.

Unsuccessful in your campaign? Take your defeat on the chin and opt for a new DP! It’s time to bury those insecurities with the heinous amount of likes you’ll get, because let’s be honest – no campaign photo beats a state-of-the-art ball portrait, courtesy of the iPhone.

TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20)

The sky’s prognosis reveals a decrease in dough for you this month. Cancel your credit card transfers and tell yourself that the ASOS student discount doesn’t exist. You’ve spent too much money over the break as it is.

But this isn’t to say that you have to lay down any restrictions for food. You’re a Taurus, for Pluto’s sake! Fork out them dollar coins (goodbye laundry funds) and make use of the Pop-Up Village.

GEMINI (May 21 – Jun 20)

Don’t even begin to pretend that you didn’t try to get a medical certificate for that mid-sem. Time to face your stars’ courses and have faith that your preparation (and prayers) are enough to get you through the first wave of assessments.

You’re probably taking to the campus re-vamp better than anyone else; embrace your adaptable sun in Saturn, and let yourself thrive off of the change. Use it to your advantage and lengthen every Chifley visit, if only because it takes more effort to get there now.

CANCER (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

Opportunities will present themselves to you if you come out of your shell (and the CBE building) and catch some September-spring rays. Join a club! Start a knitting troupe! Plant some grass in the dirt with the ANU Lettuce Society! You can do all this and more, and you won’t need your mother’s permission to do so.

Take heed of Neptune this month, and focus on you. If you need a shoulder to cry on, hit up International Law or Com Con lectures. Apparently they’re the hotspots for discreet laments.

LEO (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

We all aspire to be as confident as you, but watch that you don’t compromise work for play when it comes to mid-sems, especially after the break. One does not simply procure jobs with Ps (although, mind you, they do secure degrees).

Now is the time to utilise that confidence and pin down those job interviews! Your moon is in Jupiter, which signifies the dawning of fruitful career progressions. I hear they’re hiring at Chatime.

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Following on from the preceding moon span, Union Court is still inaccessible. Let go of your pedantic – and highly revered – knack for time management; you will not get to class on time. Also, be warned; those white leaves that will fall from the trees in University Avenue won’t only mark the beginning of exam season, but also the demise of your health via hay fever.

A special shout-out to the Virgos celebrating their birthdays. May your next 365 days of existence be filled with as much cleanliness as the last.

LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Start deciding on what you’ll do with yourself once you finish your degree. Mars’ sequences predict that you will never make the decision in time if you don’t start now.

Focus on balance in this second leg of the semester. Whether it be between business and pleasure, lecture theatres and Echo, or gin and tonic ratios… if your balance is on fleek, (and you maintain those Snapchat streaks), life on campus will be all the more rewarding.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Venus is nigh in its alignment with your moon. ANU Crushes is the perfect locus for expressing your sensuality; the anonymity makes declarations of love as enigmatic as they come, so that should suit.

A new term calls for fresh starts. Let go of any grudges that you’ve held against those high school friends who have failed to organise catch ups (or was that supposed to be you?). Hold out – kind of like the way you’ve been holding out for that apology you’re owed from a semester one misunderstanding – and expect a surprise visit from old acquaintances.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Although you’re all probably still away on holiday, the pending advent of your constellation promises up-and-coming movement and travel – more travel. Take the leap and commence arrangements to move off of campus next year. If you’re a townie, get outta here.

The moon’s cycles are leading you to hone in on the value of commitment. If you’ve clicked ‘going’ to an event for which a friend of a friend sent out a mass invite, it’s only fair that you show up, even if you only stop by on your way to Griffin Hall.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Hopefully you enjoyed your break. You guys work too hard. Just please, for the rest of us, digress from your to-do-lists and take a risk; skip a tute or two, and spend your extended free time aligning with Mercury and decoding the maps in Coombs.

This isn’t to say that your diligence won’t come with any gain. While the rest of us work to finish that post-break assignment, you will be sitting back on your haunches with the liberty of watching The Bachelorette (although Sophie Monk is an Aries, which unfortunately makes you two incompatible).

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Most Balls are over and Valetes are fast approaching. Time to practise the dance moves we all know you’ve got, because let’s be real – the distance that you put between yourself and your peers in everyday situations can be bridged only on the d-floor. Your moon is in Moose (don’t forget about mid-sems though).

Not to mention, your model independence is ideal when it comes to exchange. Applications for Semester 2 2018 are opening this week!

PISCES (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Come back to uni, the break is over.