All The Single Ladies

It’s a day some of us hate or love to hate. It’s a day some people look forward to and some boyfriends wish they could forget. Valentines Day as a celebration of love has an uncertain origin but there is nothing uncertain about its current state as a commercialised glitterfest characterised by unreasonable price hikes at the florists and faux sales on chocolates at supermarkets.

As you can probably guess by my slightly embittered, cynical tone, I am one of the many who’s plan for Friday 14th does not involve flowers, breakfast in bed and sex that feels ever so slightly obligatory. I am pleased to say, however, that there are several tried and true strategies for dealing with the ever so slightly sickening sight of THAT friend with THAT boyfriend.


  1. 1.    The friend date

You get all your unattached friends together and have lunch, dinner or anything other than dwelling on the fact that there is no significant other. The best part about this strategy is, of course, that you and your friends can spend coffee people watching and making snide comments about passers-by.

  1. 2.    Denial

“It’s not Valentines Day. It’s not Valentines Day. It is not Valentines Day.”.

Now repeat after me…

  1. 3.    Going out and getting smashed cause “why not”

Not the most productive and certainly not the healthiest, this option is possibly not conducive to maintaining your dignity either. Of course, there are many different ways this kind of evening can go and as long as it doesn’t start in UniPub drinking vodka raspberries wearing a red dress and end with some random guy trying to drag you into a taxi, it might be alright.

  1. 4.    Booty Call

You know what? Good for you!

  1. 5.    Hot bath and mud mask

So what no one spooned you last night and ineptly prepared a breakfast in bed. There was no coffee date, lunch or dinner and no one gave you flowers. So what no one is going to kiss you on the cheek when you come home or watch your back in the mosh pit at the concert. You’ve got a bath, lavender oil and a chocolate mud mask, a book and a glass of wine. Maybe you’ve even got some scented candles. Put your feet up, open up that book and get lost in those pages. Wander streets you’ve never trod and look at constellations alien to our skies. Come to understand someone better than you understand yourself and realise that you are far more complex and interesting than any fictional character. Rewarm that bath and keep reading. Remember that being in love with someone with all their complexity, perversity and mile of excess baggage is a beautiful thing. Be happy that some of your friends have that. And above all, remind yourself that being alone with yourself tonight is better than being in the arms of someone who doesn’t know what you are.

We acknowledge the Ngunnawal and Ngambri people, who are the Traditional Custodians of the land on which Woroni, Woroni Radio and Woroni TV are created, edited, published, printed and distributed. We pay our respects to Elders past and present. We acknowledge that the name Woroni was taken from the Wadi Wadi Nation without permission, and we are striving to do better for future reconciliation.