A Series of Jokes, Currently on Stand-by

Q. What area of law did the VC pioneer?
A. Harm Schmidtigation

Q. What’s the VC’s favourite day-time television show?
A. Malcom in the Schmidtle

Q. What motivational saying does the VC have hung up over the Chancellory toilet?
A. Schmidt happens

Q. Will the VC do any research while he is administering the university?
A. Just a Schmidtgen

Q. How does the VC keep his fingers warm?
A. He wears Schmidttens

Q. Which classic piece of pub-grub does the VC have a soft spot for?
A. Chicken Schmidtzel

Q. Why does the VC never drink too much beer?
A. He only ever orders Schmiddies.

Supplementary Q. Would you ever get a drink with the VC?
A. Only if he’s Brian.

Notes: Moroni page. The writer also requests that Schmidt’s face be superimposed on a chicken schnitzel. I’m not sure if this is possible or appropriate.