A woman underwater with light shining on her, struggling for air.

A Life in the Making

I’m going travelling and I want you to come with me. This is the beginning.

 

When I was eleven years old I wrote bitch on my stomach in Black Permanent Marker

I realised my mistake

As soon as I was done.

I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed

Body blotchy

Sore

Pink

But it was,

Too late

Too, too late

So

I had to walk around

Quietly

But not

With a faded stain

Imprinted on my body

A grey idea

Silent

Almost

Seeping into my skin

As a reminder

Of what

I was yet

To understand

Stand

 

I stand here

Again

And I feel sick.

Head, fuzzy

Heart, raw

A wobbling

Echoing through my body

Because

It happened

So early and so quickly

And the floor turned wet

And deep

And I was drowning

Help.

Help me.

I need to

Leave

 

And those words

Harsh stabs

Stab

Into me

Again

And again

And again

Bitch

And I feel them

Bitch

From, ago

Bitch

They sting

And feel so real

The letters

Look

Sound

Strange

But real

So, I run

I keep running

I’ve been running

For so long

I’m so

Tired

Will I ever stop?