Your fists are firm and you’re ready to throw the first punch: it’s fight time!
The secret wars waged at the ANU are rooted in feelings of unfair treatment, hardship, and the pressure of high expectation.
Seeking revenge should never be a lonely process; that’s for amateurs.
A team effort can yield better outcomes and deliver greater satisfaction.
Step 1: Stop
That’s right, slow down. You’re not Olivia Pope and no, you can’t handle this like a Gladiator.
The truth is that your seething rage isn’t creating a clever strategy.
Contemplate whether your current plan will work in your favour or simply expose your weaknesses.
Moreover, stopping for a moment takes the focus off of you and buys time to plot and conspire.
Fact: this is your first chance to save face! No fumbling, no stuffing-it-up.
Step 2: Don’t burn the bridges (not yet)
Where were you planning to stage your battle?
You need to establish common grounds upon which to reveal your master plan, especially when making requests. Encouraging continued dialogue allows you to better understand your enemy, possibly exposing the likelihood of them backing down. You’re also showing that you’re the bigger person by allowing the other’s voice to be heard.
Crucially, you need to decide whether this is a battle – battles usually have high costs – and what’s the risk of destroying your own reputation.
Think and act diplomatically.
Step 3: Plot & Conspire
This is where your team comes in, hence why I said that no revenge should ever be undertaken alone. Remember, the attention is already on you, but others may be under the radar. Your team should be providing a plan of action and be a sounding board for special considerations. They should also be qualified and have some experience in handling issues efficiently. What are their credentials?
Your team should stay focused on the problem, not on you. Obviously you’re trying to achieve a goal, but the team has to be able to focus on the objectives and satisfy needs rather than desires.
Step 4: Hustle & Flow
Once you start opening your mouth I expect to hear something that makes sense.
Tell me: can you clearly state what the problem is? Or will you whinge and moan without making sense?
A tone of voice that encourages open dialogue can help you “save face”, while also imparting a sense of confidence in your viewpoints.
Depending on the problem, let’s look at which rules and expectations are involved. Some of concepts involved might come in handy, so learn them, use them and own them.
Step 5: Action time
You’ve submitted your plan to team scrutiny. Now you can activate the secret mission by putting the plan to the ultimate test; reality. After making the first move, I recommend relaxing and getting your mind off of it. You’ve already done your part. Now you wait for the other party’s move.
Your team members will remain activated and ready for feedback from the other side, and will alert you to anything that requires urgent attention.
Step 6: Keep your head in the game
Inevitably, some parts of the plan may not work. That’s ok!
You will become better at processing the information and working out a new strategy.
You may even redefine what you consider as a win. Perhaps the revenge you’ve been seeking wasn’t the goal. Instead, resolution will become your primary target.
The best part of not seeking revenge is walking away satisfied with minimal damage, enduring minimal costs.