Whenever one of my friends has a thing for a college kid we issue words of warning. Usually along the lines of “Don’t be surprised if he/she doesn’t text you/is flaky/doesn’t even show up. College kids don’t date townies.” I’m sure there are many exceptions to the rule, and it’s a pretty general assumption we make. However, it’s a theory based on one thing: if you’re a resident of one of the campus establishments then obviously it is more convenient for you to have sexy times with the lad or lady in the room next door than with some struggler who lives in Chisholm, Florey, Jerrabomberra or Palmerston. Do these places even exist? Does this person even exist?
This premise swings both ways. Most townies really aren’t too interested in seeing a college kid. The residents of Daley Road in particular have pretty bad (probably unwarranted) reputations for partying hard and hooking up indiscriminately.
Anyway, as a townie I feel the need to stick up for my compatriots. Here are all of the reasons you should date one.
Disclaimer: I realise I am about to make some massive generalisations. Stop reading if that irks you.
1. Home cooked food. Herb gardens and fresh ingredients included, as are ovens for the production of baked goods. So, sick of college food? Well, come over. Whenever.
2. We have double beds. Obviously not all of us, however, judging by my friends, most of us do. We also have non-communal washing machines and clotheslines which basically translates to clean(ish) sheets.
3. We own cars. This means we can head off on skiing/surfing/camping trips on a whim. It also means we can generally do as and go wherever we please. With a car it rarely takes more than 20 minutes to go anywhere in Canberra.
4. We’re friends with other townies. That band playing at King O’s on Saturday night? Yeah, we went to school with them. Why is that bartender giving us cheap drinks? We play mixed netball together. The bouncer that let us skip the queue? We go to the same Yoga studio.
5. We know where to go. Be it cheap and tasty food, a nice picnic spot or a rope swing on a hot day. Or, if you break a bone and need to know which is the fastest and cheapest medical centre, we have you covered too.
6. Similarly, we know our way around so you can put down the iPhone.
7. We have pets. Do you miss your Border Collie? Well you’re welcome to borrow mine. She is currently running circles around my living room for no apparent or rational reason at all.
8. House parties. Yeah you guys get invited to the occasional housewarming when kids move out. However, literally all of our friends live in houses. Mooseheads got old when we were 17. This is where the real fun is.
9. We don’t use communal bathrooms and thus I presume have lower rates of foot fungus. Ok, actually ignore that point. It was gross and based on no evidence whatsoever.
10. We’re just generally awesome people. And I’m not biased at all.
So yeah… Tempted? I hear Griffin Hall is always up for bar nights.
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