Footprint on sand

LANGUAGE: CHINESE
TRANSLATED BY LINDA JIAN AND SIMENG SUN

放眼望去,那些人的鞋,

 

这些人的鞋,别人的鞋。

 

自由的选择:削去脚趾一截

 

抑或,多余的后跟,连同皮

 

褶皱,娇嫩,红透在白里。

 

只需如此,便能穿上他们的鞋屐

(偶尔也是她们的)

 

可是我已经剃去了满头长发——

 

还有多余的部分可以舍弃吗?

 

若没了鞋屐,纵使它

 

狭小,逼仄,窒息

 

可还能走遍苍茫的山峦崎岖?

 

踏过垂着朝露的厚草地

 

也嗫嚅着双足,迈起步子

 

印上满路的碎石与淤泥,

 

只是为了赶路,何必

 

心急,硬塞进别人的鞋履

 

(无人见过的那个“别人”,

却仿佛最像自己)

 

新鲜的伤口贴着粗糙的衬里,

 

左右每一步都伴着血与泪滴

 

不如就此放松

 

敞开柔软的足底

 

碎石的棱角嵌入肌肤

 

再来一层灰尘填平缝隙

 

细小的玻璃

 

划破,染红,愈合

 

与双足融为一体

 

蜿蜒的疤痕,歪歪曲曲

 

失焦的双眼,泛起雾气

 

稀薄的,模糊的,烫又冰凉的

 

水滴,滴进

 

后现代的足印里。

 

却也披上满不在乎的神气

 

只是走着。走着,直到

 

一天,磨平又生出的一片又一片

 

灰黑的老茧,坚硬的死皮

 

包裹脚掌的每一处蜷曲

 

刚刚好的鞋底,

 

刚刚好的自己。

 

*****

Shoes

 

My gaze wanders over shoes. Of those,

 

Of these, of theirs.

 

It’s a matter of choice: to pare a toe

 

or the redundant heel

 

or the skin, creased or tender or rosy

 

Just like this, I can fit in their shoes, his shoes

(On the rare occasion, they might also be hers)

 

But I’ve already shaved the lengths of my hair

 

Is there still any part of me I can give up?

 

Were I without shoes;

 

narrow and suffocating,

 

Would I still find myself roaming the rugged ranges?

 

Traversing the thick grasslands where dew adorns blades,

 

My feet hesitant at first, step out,

 

Stained by muddy gravel.

 

If only for the sake of moving ahead, getting on with life

 

What point is there to force myself into unfamiliar shoes?

 

(Why does the unknown ‘other’ resemble me most?)

 

fresh wounds graze the coarse leather inner

 

every step drenched with tears and blood

 

Why not relax,

 

Soften the arches of the foot

 

And let the gravel pierce through

 

Another layer of dust to fill in the cracks

 

Shards of glass

 

Scratch, turns crimson, heals

 

Melding with the feet

 

To form winding scars

 

My eyes lose focus, fog rises here

 

Subtle, blurry, droplets burning and freezing

drip into

 

post-modern footprints

 

Walk, walk, walk

Under a façade of detachment, just walk

(crawl, if necessary)

 

Till one day, calluses cover my feet

 

Grey-black, tough, thick skin wrapping every inch

 

Just the right shoes for me

 

Just the right … me