WORONI IS TURNING 75!
Come celebrate our birthday with us @ Fun Time Pony!
We’re going to have ANU student bands performing all night, so come see Dislodged, Nightswim, Killcare, Cool Will, Goodchild & Cameron John performing throughout the night!
Get your FREE ticket through humanitix now! You’ll need one if you want to get any FREE pizza on the night (sorry, SSAF does not fund alcohol). It’ll also be election night, so celebrate or commiserate depending on your desired outcome!
DOORS OPEN MAY 3 @ 8PM, MUSIC STARTS @ 9PM
“Why would you move to Canberra if you love live music so much?”
It is a question that people still ask me when they find out I moved from Sydney to Canberra. But I laugh at it; Canberra’s music scene is a unique and untapped experience, different from those in Australia’s larger cities such as Melbourne and Sydney.
Before moving, my logical thought was that if artists were making music in Canberra, there must be artists performing! It is likely there are a few artists you have heard of who are from Canberra, including the likes of Genesis Owusu, Peking Duk, and Teen Jesus and the Jean Teasers. If you are looking to expand your taste and would like to see some gigs but are not sure where to start, these artists may have sounds that are familiar to your current favourite artists!
Teen Jesus and the Jean Teasers — I Love You Too
Teen Jesus and the Jean Teasers are a punk rock band that grew from Canberra’s streets. They are known for their versatility in sound and exciting live performances. If you are a fan of other Australian rock groups such as the Buoys or Teenage Joans, you will no doubt love Teen Jesus. Their debut album has recently accrued new songs in the deluxe version I Love You Too, a compilation of songs exploring various life experiences featuring opening upbeat tracks such as “I Used to Be Fun” and “I Love You”. However, Teen Jesus also creates slower, delicate songs such as “Your House My House” and “Toe Bone” which explore the ideas of missing others and uncertain feelings. I was first captured by Teen Jesus when they worked with one of my other favourite bands, The Grogans, to release “Salt”, which has a catchy hook. While not all band members still live in Canberra, they do a few shows a year in this small city.
Peking Duk
While you may not know they are from Canberra, Peking Duk are definitely a big artist who have captivated Australian ears and even globally garnered attention. Peking Duk are an electronic dance band composed of DJs/producers Adam Hyde and Reuben Styles. They have produced hit tracks such as “High” and “Fire” which has allowed them to play huge shows. While Peking Duk do not frequently play shows in Canberra, they have provided a foundation for the city’s music scene and have encouraged many local artists to follow similar trajectories.
Genesis Owusu — Struggler
Genesis Owusu is not your typical artist; he pushes boundaries in his music production, providing a mixture of fast-paced rap tracks as well as more mellow, accessible R&B or alternative songs, allowing him to capture such a large audience of people who enjoy a wide range of music. I initially started listening to Owusu when he released his 2021 album Smiling With No Teeth, where “Gold Chains,” with a mix of a smooth melodic hook and flowing rap verses, allowed me to connect with his music easily. Owusu’s newest album, Struggler, continues this versatility as he explores struggle within many different facets of our lives. Owusu’s album was so well received that his song “What Comes Will Come” was added to the EA Sports FC24 soundtrack. Typically, when Owusu tours Australia, he does a show in his hometown of Canberra, so look out for any upcoming shows for a truly captivating and enjoyable performance.
Stella Eve — Spare Keys
Stella Eve is probably the smallest artist in this article. However, she has to be one of my favourite artists of those I have discovered since coming to Canberra. Stella’s music has a calm, folky tone, providing easy and beautiful listening for any situation. She has a sound similar to that of artists like Phoebe Bridgers and Julia Jacklin. I first discovered Stella Eve’s music with her single “Bleed”, which I have introduced to many friends — everyone loves the catchy chorus and fun musical atmosphere that it creates. Stella recently released a second single, “Spare Keys,” a slow, melodic song that similarly provides easy listening. Sadly, I have yet to see Stella live in Canberra — however, she is playing frequent gigs and seeing one of her shows is on my to-do list for 2025 (as it should be for you!).
Moaning Lisa — Fainter
Moaning Lisa are hard to box into a single genre. However, their music most closely strikes an indie rock and pop sound similar to Teen Jesus and the Jean Teasers. If you have already listened to Teen Jesus (and hopefully enjoyed them), give Moaning Lisa a listen. Moaning Lisa’s new album, Fainter explores various emotions surrounding relationships and life experiences and has a nice mix of stronger rock and more poppy songs. My personal favourite is “4am (where have you been?)”. Moaning Lisa are playing at The Basement (aka Baso) in Belco on the 1st of March, where they are selling student tickets for $18.40 (could be your first Canberra gig!).
Now that you are familiar with some Canberran artists, you may be wondering where you should go if you want to hear some live music. Canberra has a few really good venues for music, which you can follow to get continual updates on visiting bands.
The Basement (aka the Baso) — Belconnen
The Baso is a fun venue located in Belconnen, which is easy to reach with a single bus from Barry Drive. The Baso hosts a wide variety of genres, from indie rock to pop and everything in between. I have seen a few prominent Australian artists here, including The Vanns, Old Mervs, and Belair Lip Bombs. If you have a look at their website and see artists you do not recognise, you can always buy a cheap ticket and have a listen with a feed and a drink to help support local artists!
UC Hub — Bruce
UC has a great music venue for artists; they host a variety of music with no real niche. UC has seen bands as big as Peking Duk and The Wombats while also putting on Australian indie bands such as The Rions, Spacey Jane, Pacific Avenue and Telenova. I recommend keeping up with UC Hub as they put on many pop-rock shows that anyone can have fun at!
Smith’s Alternative — Civic and Belconnen
Smith’s Alternative is one of my favourite places to hang out, but they also host many fun bands ranging from genres such as jazz and folk to some small rock and classical groups. Smith’s is a venue that provides a space for niche-r music with smaller crowds so that everyone can enjoy their style of music!
ANU Kambri Cultural Centre and Llewellyn Hall — on Campus
Yes! While rare, our own campus holds live gigs with prominent artists. I have been fortunate enough to see Royel Otis in the Culture Centre and enjoy an amazing show at the same hall where I was lectured about microeconomics and statistics. These gigs are often advertised around campus, so they are easier to spot than other venues.
Llewellyn Hall is the large music hall in the music building, and it is an absolutely beautiful space to hear all types of music. The hall frequently hosts the university’s orchestra and jazz band, while also seeing the likes of Hoodoo Gurus and the Australian Chamber Orchestra perform. If this seems more your vibe, look out for the wide range of shows in these venues!
While Canberra has many shows coming up from the start of the semester, the best way for you to find a gig you will enjoy is to listen to new Canberra artists and follow social media pages and websites for the listed venues. Canberra has such a vibrant music scene, especially with regional tours becoming more and more popular for medium-sized bands, so do a little research and enjoy your Canberra music.
Woroni Radio welcomes you to the first Woroni Gig Guide for 2025! This guide lists most, if not all, shows happening in Canberra between now and the start of April. Originally, this was devised as a feature for the upcoming Extinction magazine, to showcase the fact that local live music is very much, in fact, not extinct. However, timelines made this impossible, so we have published it on our site so that whoever needs it can use it to its fullest extent. This list isn’t comprehensive, so if you know of any upcoming shows, feel free to let us know via emailing radio@woroni.com.
Bands, times, and prices are accurate at time of writing * = concession prices
Every Saturday
Wayne Kelly Trio @ Tilley’s Devine Cafe Gallery (6:00pm, FREE)
Friday 14/3
Crucial Waft (calyx, Sia Ahmed + Tom Fell & NIMBY) @ Dissent Cafe & Bar (7:30pm, $15)
Tijuana Cartel @ The Baso (7:00pm, $51)
A Commoner’s Revolt, Domesticated Incels & Ben Pegram @ The Polo (7:00pm, $15)
Saturday 15/3
Pseudo Echo @ The Baso (7:00pm, $51)
Lost Coast & Flik & Frames @ The Polo (7:30pm, $20)
The Filthy Darlings, The Shadow Ministers & The Petch Experience @ Smith’s Alternative (9:00pm, $15)
Sunday 16/3
Georgia Bennett @ The Old Canberra Inn (4:00pm, FREE)
Inez Hargaden (4:00pm, FREE)
Sam Buckingham @ Smith’s Alternative (7:00, $25*)
Tuesday 18/3
Ruthie Foster @ The Street Theatre (7:30pm, $75)
Thursday 20/3
Kim Salmon’s Smoked Salmon @ Smith’s Alternative (9:30pm, $35*)
The Brother Brothers & Isobel Rumble @ Smith’s Alternative (6:30pm, $20*)
Friday 21/3
Khan & Voodoo Acid Space Kings @ The Baso (7:00pm, $30)
Majelen & Tessa Devine @ Smith’s Alternative (6:30pm, $15*)
RAMSTONE, The Filthy Darlings & Napoleon Ice Cream @ Dissent Cafe & Bar (7:30pm, $20)
Shivi Vachaspati Trio @ Dickson Taphouse (8:00pm, FREE)
Ziggy Alberts @ UC Refectory (7:30pm, $93)
Saturday 22/3
Blue Angel & Dr Wiedemann’s Orchestra & Black Owl Quartet @ Smith’s Alternative (3:00pm, $10*)
David McCredie @ Smith’s Alternative (6:00pm, $20*)
Eviscerate The Crown, Russian Novel, Telurian & Switch Up @ The Baso (7:00pm, $18)
FUNLAND (Tired Lion, Verge Collection, Egoism, Smartcasual, Sonic Reducer, Sunsick Daisy, Swapmeet & Archie) @ UC Hub Courtyard (4:00pm, $52)
STS Fest (Flavuh, The Engine, Nuta Mantis & Buffy) @ Dissent Bar & Cafe (7:30pm, $20)
The Sunday Estate @ The Baso (7:00pm, $23)
Zambezi Sounds @ Smith’s Alternative (9:00pm, $15)
Sunday 23/3
Chris O’Connor @ The Old Canberra Inn (4:00pm, FREE)
Comfy Gutters & Liz Caddy @ Smith’s Alternative (3:00pm, $10*)
Moondog @ Dickson Taphouse (4:00pm, FREE)
Wednesday 26/3
Kristina Olsen & Peter Grayling @ Smith’s Alternative (6:30pm, $25*)
Thursday 27/3
Travis Collins @ The Baso (7:00pm, $33*)
Friday 28/3
Black Owl Quartet @ Dickson Taphouse (8:00pm, FREE)
Cardboard Cutouts & Sex With Men @ Dissent Cafe & Bar (7:30pm, $15)
Kasey Chambers @ Canberra Theatre Centre (7:30pm, $91)
Lakeside at 5 (Rachel Thoms Trio & Aidan and Bianca) @ Tuggeranong Arts Centre (5:30pm, donation)
The Crossbenchers @ The Old Canberra Inn (7:00pm, FREE)
The Weeping Willows & Great Aunt @ Smith’s Alternative (6:30pm, $20*)
Saturday 29/3
Big Reef, Rat Boy School Excursion & Buzzcuts @ Dissent Cafe & Bar (7:30pm, $10)
Capital Punishment (Shackles, Fat Lip, Gravitate, Highland Light, Discount Code, Step 2 Me & Minefield) @ The Baso (7:00pm, $45)
John Craigie & Kassi Valazza @ Smith’s Alternative (6:00pm, $45)
Johnny Reynolds Band @ The Old Canberra Inn (2:00pm, FREE)
La Descarga & Los Chavos @ The Polo (7:30pm, $35) Sunday 30/3 Flik @ The Old Canberra Inn (4:00pm, FREE)
Georgia Bennett @ Dickson Taphouse (4:00pm, FREE)
Tuesday 1/4
Stand Atlantic & RedHook @ The Baso (7:00pm,. $56)
Thursday 3/4
Kim Churchill @ Smith’s Alternative (9:30pm, $40)
Pierce Brothers & Flynn Gurry @ UC Hub (7:00pm, $46)
You Am I & Grace Cummings @ UC Refectory (7:00pm, $91)
Friday 4/4
Bootleg Rascal, Dante Knows & Dizzy Days @ The Baso (7:00pm, $45)
Flynn Marcus Quartet @ Dickson Taphouse (8:00pm, FREE)
We Mavericks & Two If By Sea @ Smith’s Alternative (6:30pm, $20*)
Saturday 5/4
Ess-Em, Doxxed & A Commoner’s Revolt @ Dissent Cafe & Bar (7:30pm, $20)
Lucie Thorne + Hamish Stuart @ Smith’s Alternative (4:00pm, $20*)
Sunday 6/4
Dean Haitani @ Dickson Taphouse (4:00pm, FREE)
Lewis DeLorenzo @ The Old Canberra Inn (4:00pm, FREE)
Comments Off on Woroni Art Editor Casual Vacancy 2025
Woroni’s Board of Editors is looking to fill a casual vacancy for the position of Art Editor for 2025, this position will commence as soon as possible and end on the 19th of November 2025.
The Art Editor runs the Art portfolio, overseeing a team of around a dozen student volunteers as they plan and contribute art works to Woroni. The Art editor is also the principal editor responsible for the layout of Woroni‘s six print issues a year. The role is an exciting opportunity to work with passionate volunteers to create content that matters for the ANU community, made by the community itself.
The Art Editor sits on the Board and is a Director of the organisation, responsible in part for the overall direction of Woroni.
Ideal applicants will be passionate about the visual arts, have experience with team management, be organised and punctual, and be willing to dedicate 15 hours per week to Woroni duties. They do not have to have prior experience with Woroni, but such experience is highly recommended. They must be an ANU student.
The position is not paid, but Editors may receive an honorarium for their work.
Applicants must answer the questions below, and if successful, will be interviewed by a panel of three current Editors. Applications close on 20 January 2025.
Woroni is committed to accessible and diverse hiring. If the hiring process can be made more accessible for you or if you feel you have different requirements for any reason, please email woronideputy@gmail.com and we will do our best to accommodate your needs.If you have any questions, please email woronideputy@gmail.com
Comments Off on The Jazz of Nala Sinepho: A soundtrack for the age of core-core and introspection
The world moves too fast. Each day bleeds into the next. Lectures bleed into work, work bleeds into sleep, sleep bleeds into breakfast, Monday bleeds into Friday, and eventually, life will bleed into death.
The world moves too fast. Faster than ever. Advanced technology has enabled us to do more than ever before, but just as we have become able to do more, so too has each day become an instrument for completing a growing to-do list, upon which crucial time for ourselves rarely makes an appearance.
The music of experimental Jazz musician Nala Sinephro provides a refreshing answer to the increasingly chaotic world we live in.
Nala Sinephro’s Jazz
Jazz has always pushed boundaries. Playing with increasingly complex musical arrangements and improvisations is the genre’s bread and butter. While these elements are certainly not lacking in Sinephro’s jazz, they are aided by a characteristic style of meditative calm.
Among a series of tightly crafted ambient, and yet emotionally charged soundscapes, adventures into melody and rhythm are timely responses to our world; a world increasingly saturated with noise and jargon.
Space 1.8
In 2021, Sinephro came out with her debut album Space 1.8, blending the ethereal tones of the harp with powerful jazz improvisations and synths into a sound that was — and still is — fresh and distinct.
Alongside collaborators Nubya Garcia and the Ezra Collective, Space 1.8 moved away from the bombastic and instead looked to evoke introspection and reflection. With each track, Sinephro crafted a spiritual space, both open and calm. The album was a pivotal release, striking a chord with listeners around the globe, and breaking new ground in both the jazz and the ambient genres.
Endlessness
Now, her second album, Endlessness, is here. Sinephro pushes her experimental ethos even further, in a 45-minute exploration of jazz stripped to its ambient core. Shimmering arpeggios, yearning saxophones and pulsating rhythms decorate the bones of the project, while thematic throughlines of recurrence colour Sinephro’s reborn sonic cosmos.
While Space 1.8 offered continuous variation, Endlessness is wholly minimalistic. A single arpeggio motif guides us through the album and results in a deeply cohesive and meditative experience, though some may find this a repetitive trap.
And yet, it is this very sense of repetition that I find deeply intentional, mirroring contemporary cultural shifts in the digital world, especially viral online artistic movements like core-core.
Core-core and Introspection
It is in core-core that seemingly random, often emotionally charged images and sounds are paired to invoke a mellow appreciation of our shared human experience, helping us process and navigate a world of overstimulation, nostalgia, and often overwhelming existential helplessness.
Both core-core and Sinephro make heavy use of recurrence, spontaneity, and subtle emotional shifts. Both ultimately function by taking something simple — be it an image, a video, a melody or a motif — and developing it into something deep and meaningful through prolonged repetition, layering and an emphasis on difference.
In both core-core and Sinephro’s jazz, simplicity is utilised as a powerful tool for emotional resonance, invoking an atmosphere that is equally soothing and haunting.
As core-core engages us, it creates a space for reflection. Sinephro’s Jazz does the same. We are offered a peaceful refuge from an increasingly fragmented life, from our penchant for instant gratification and endless doom scrolling. Sinephro’s music encourages us to slow down, to focus on each note, on each moment that captivates us, and also to appreciate all the space in between.
In a world where our attention is constantly pulled in multiple directions, we often need a counterpoint, or perhaps a cure. Something just like this, which demands of each of us patience, and rewards those capable of giving it with peace, if only for a little while.
Ultimately, in an era of information overload, Nala Sinephro’s music captures a cultural moment where introspection, minimalism, and fluidity are central to how we should be navigating the world. Both of her albums, Space 1.8 and Endlessness, provide much-needed room for reflection. Whether it’s through the loops of a synth arpeggio or the hypnotic pull of a jazz motif, her work aligns with the current cultural landscape — offering, in the vein of core-core, a soundtrack for those seeking solace in a world of never-ending noise.
For those who feel overwhelmed, I ask that you listen.
Slow down, breathe, and listen.
Comments Off on Woroni Communications Editor Casual Vacancy 2024
Woroni’s Board of Editors is looking to fill a casual vacancy for the new position of Communications Editor for 2024, this position will commence on the 13th of May 2024 and end on the 16th of November 2024.
The Communications Editor is a new position added this year to the Woroni Board, and is responsible for overseeing the organisations public presence and reach. This includes oversight over our social media, photography and events portfolios, managing these teams and the content they produce. It is an exciting opportunity to work with passionate volunteers to create content that matters for the ANU community, made by the community itself. The Communications Editor also sits on the Board and is a Director of the organisation, responsible in part for the overall direction of Woroni.
The successful applicant will be passionate about student media, have experience with team management, be organised and punctual, and be willing to dedicate 15 hours per week to Woroni duties. They do not have to have prior experience with Woroni, but such experience is highly recommended. They must be an ANU student.
The position is not paid, but Editors receive an honorarium for their work.
Applicants must answer the questions below, and if successful, will then go on to be interviewed by a panel of three current Editors. Applications close on the 1st of May.
Woroni is committed to accessible and diverse hiring. If the hiring process can be made more accessible for you or if you feel you have different requirements for any reason, please email woronideputy@gmail.com and we will do our best to accomodate your needs.
If you have any questions, please email woronideputy@gmail.com
Comments Off on Annual General Meeting 2024 Notice
We are pleased to announce that the ANU Student Media Inc. Annual General Meeting (AGM) will be held on Monday the 29th April 2024.
Location: In person TBC and Zoom
Time: 6.30pm
The 2024 ANUSM Annual General Meeting Agenda can be accessed here.
You can access the references from the agenda below once the agenda is posted:
Reference A: 2023 AGM Minutes (Draft)
Reference B: 2023 SGM Minutes (Draft)
Reference C: 2024 Editor-in-Chief’s Annual Report
Reference D: 2024 Managing Editor’s Annual Financial Report
Reference E: 2023 Audited Financial Statement
Reference F: Provisional 2024 Budget
Reference G: Proposed Editor Honoraria Regulations
The Editor-in-Chief and Managing Editor will present their annual reports, the 2023 Audited Financial Statement and the 2024 ANUSM Provisional Annual Budget.
If you are interested in the governance of ANU Student Media, want to get involved next semester and would like to get an update on the progress we have made in the past year, we invite you to come along. We will also be having a discussion on Woroni’s name directly following the AGM. For more information please see the statement made by Editor-in-Chief Matthew Box here.
If you have any accessibility requirements or questions, please email Charlie Crawford, our Deputy Editor-in-Chief, at woronideputy@gmail.com.
Woroni TV is hiring for the second half of Semester 1 2024!
At Woroni we are committed to:
producing interesting, entertaining, informative and regular content across our print, multimedia, radio and online media platforms;
contributing to a sense of university identity and reflecting the scholarly and cultural diversity of the ANU community;
promoting open public dialogue and debate in the ANU community;
promoting awareness of the variety of curricular and extra-curricular activities undertaken by students at ANU;
discovering and developing the creative talents of students at ANU in journalism and the media arts;
promoting the best practice in professional journalism; and
being innovative and exploring new media forms.
A great student media organisation is for everyone. Student media should promote conversations, and provide a platform for people with different views, identities and lived experiences. Our ultimate aim is to build a culture of inclusivity and diversity across our platforms. A large portion of ANU’s students relocate to Canberra to study, which means our community is extremely diverse. Woroni is funded by, created by and consumed by ANU students, and our mission is to produce print, radio and television content that truly reflects this community.
Woroni is committed to diversity in hiring and encourages applications from ANU students of all backgrounds. These are volunteer positions, however individuals may receive an honorarium based on their commitment to the role. If you have questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact woronieic@gmail.com. If you would like to contribute to our mission, see below for how you can get involved with student media!
Applications will close at midnight on Friday the 3rd of May 2024. Interviews may be conducted at any time throughout or after the application period.
The TV team at Woroni produces video content ranging from campus life to news reporting. We’re looking for fun, creative, and passionate sub-editors and senior sub-editors to join the team!
Production Assistant:
The Production Assistant role is a versatile, entry-level position crucial to the video content production process within a team. Key duties include developing video concepts, filming with audio and camera equipment, and video editing using Adobe Premiere Pro. This position offers an opportunity for skill development in various media production areas. Although prior experience in media production is advantageous, it is not mandatory. The role is expected to require approx. 8-10 hours of work per week, including compulsory weekly team meetings that you must be available for. This is a volunteer position, with the possibility of honoraria.
Producer:
The TV Producer role is essential for facilitating video production in small teams, focusing on all production stages for quality delivery. This position, which reports directly to the Executive Producer, involves scheduling, creative direction, and collaboration with Production Assistants. Candidates should have basic to intermediate production skills (camera, editing, production). This position is ideal for individuals familiar with media production looking to leverage their creative skills in a team environment. The role is expected to require approx. 8-10 hours of work per week, including compulsory weekly team meetings that you must be available for. This is a volunteer position, with the possibility of honoraria.
Executive Producer:
The Executive Producer role is a leadership position within the video production team, requiring close collaboration with the TV Editor for effective management. Responsibilities include coordinating a production team and contributing to video development, as well as camera operation and video editing, and providing both assistance and troubleshooting in these areas. This position is ideal for someone with experience in film production and managing a team, who is able to manage a more significant time commitment. The role is expected to require approx. 10-15 hours of work per week, including compulsory weekly team meetings that you must be available for. This is a volunteer position, with the possibility of honoraria.
TV-News Producer:
This position plays a crucial role in bridging the TV and News portfolios to produce multimedia style journalistic content. Working closely with the TV-News Executive Producer, this position requires attendance at weekly team meetings across both TV and News. Responsibilities include content development, camera operation, and video editing. This position is ideal for someone with some experience in media production who is passionate about multimedia journalism.The role is expected to require approx. 8-10 hours of work per week, including compulsory weekly team meetings that you must be available for. This is a volunteer position, with the possibility of honoraria.
If anything can be done to make the application process more accessible, please contact woronitveditor@gmail.com.
Comments Off on Statement From the Editor-in-Chief on the Name ‘Woroni’
Australian National University Student Media Inc. (ANUSM) currently trades and publishes under the name ‘Woroni’. Woroni is a word which was stolen from the Wadi Wadi nation by Editors in 1950 without consultation or recognition. The Wadi Wadi language is now extinct which has made various attempts at consultation on the use of the name over the last 5 years challenging, this however is no excuse. In the middle of 2020 ANUSM began recognising the theft of the word publicly in the Acknowledgement of Country on the back of the Woroni magazine.
This year we have once again attempted consultation with the Murray and Lower Darling Rivers Indigenous Nations on the name, however the ANUSM Board strongly believes that the association should be a democratic, student led, and informed organisation. In light of this, we will be holding an open discussion immediately following our Annual General Meeting on the 29th of April 2024. The AGM begins at 6:30pm and is likely to run for approximately 30 minutes so we anticipate this discussion to begin at approximately 7:00pm. The discussion will not take place as a part of the AGM as we do not expect there to be a final resolution on the topic that night and the structure of a General Meeting does not provide the same opportunity for discussion as we think would be productive.
For some additional context, ANUSM is an incorporated association and thus it and its directors are legally bound by its constitution. Currently section 14.2 of the ANUSM Constitution requires that “The Association must manage print and media platforms with the masthead Woroni.” Given this we cannot begin publishing under another name until the members of ANUSM have approved a change to the constitution and this change has been ratified by ANU Council. All ANU students are automatically members of ANUSM and are invited to participate in this discussion.
Details of the discussion will be released in due course. We acknowledge that not everyone with an opinion on the matter will be willing or able to attend the discussion and so encourage anyone to contact the Editor-in-Chief at woronieic@gmail.com if you would like to contribute your thoughts to the discussion.
Have you ever been listening to a song and are so taken aback by an unhinged lyric that you have to go back and check that it’s exactly as insane as you thought it was? Yeah, me too. Typically I don’t listen very closely to the lyrics of songs. However, every so often, there’s one so special it requires recognition. Here is a collection of a few of my favourite lyrics that have stopped me in my tracks (pun intended).
If you, like me, have a middle-aged white Australian father, you’ve probably been forced to listen to a lot of Triple J over the years. When I was fifteen, Pond came out with their album The Weather and to say my dad was obsessed is an understatement. This meant anytime one of their songs was played on Triple J, my dad would turn it up and sing along — horribly off-key, mind you. Truly nothing is more horrifying as a teenager than hearing your dad fucking belting the line, ‘in between my penis and chin/is camembert and shame’ (Pond, Sweep Me Off My Feet). The moment has never left my brain since and probably never will.
Being on Youtube in the mid to late 2010s, you may have come across the animation community and its even smaller subset, the animated meme community. Me and my brother fucking loved to show each other the most stupid videos from there, like Momotaro by Ap Selene and Vivziepop’s Timber. I still maintain that some of those songs were good. One of our absolute favourites was the reanimation of Pokemon Sun and Moon characters to You Reposted in the Wrong Neighbourhood by Shokk. The image of Professor Kukui dancing hard to ‘I’m a menace, a dentist, an oral hygienist’ is timeless. The original may have been deleted, but I still go back to reuploads every now and again.
For one of my introductory courses in first year, the professor would play the music video for a song at the beginning of each module (so usually one or two a class) that was in some way related to the content we would be learning. We were forced to listen to all manner of wild songs at 8 am on a Tuesday morning, but I can’t deny that they were part of the reason I loved that class and went to every lecture, even with that brutal start time. One of the most memorable was the 17th song in which the line, ‘I’m learning to hate all the things that used to be great when I used to be bent!’ was uttered. Honestly, the entire song, I Want to Be Straight by Ian Dury (ft. The Blockheads) is mad, so I would encourage watching the music video or even just listening if you feel so inclined.
In the past couple of months, a lot of my friends have moved houses and as the fantastic friend that I am, I helped. On one of these expeditions, after we had moved most of the boxes into the new place, we were taking a break and listening to the radio (which station I couldn’t tell you for the life of me). We were sweaty, exhausted and overheated. Basically we were delirious, which means that only something truly out of pocket would’ve shaken us out of our stupor. It was actually an earlier lyric from the song that caught our attention (breathing out a hole in my lung) but the later lyric is one that stuck with us so bad we immediately had to look it up to make sure we didn’t hallucinate what we had heard. We hadn’t, and that lyric was; ‘I’m a sex change and a damsel with no heroine’, from Silverchair’s Straight Lines.
When I told my dad about this collection of silly song lyrics that he had originally prompted, he was at first amused but then said he had the perfect song to add to it. He was right. The entire song is a collection of lyrics that I’m frankly astounded made it past a producer but the one I’ve chosen is tame enough that it’s entertaining but not batshit enough to be concerning – like some of the rest of the song is. That lyric is ‘I like football and porno and books about war/ I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor’ from Dennis Leary’s song Asshole.
Those are all lyrics that have really stuck with me, but there are others that I believe deserve an honourable mention:
‘May God rest that twink, he is no more’ – Lynks, USE IT OR LOSE IT.
‘Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil’ – Ministry, Jesus Built My Hotrod.
‘Sipping tea by the fire is swell/ pushing people in is fun as well!’ – Starkid, Different as Can Be.
‘I get eaten by the worms/ and weird fishes’ – Radiohead, Weird Fishes.
‘I have a big gun/ took it from my Lord’ – MELL, Red fraction.
‘Doctor holding a big bottle of tonic but the bottle’s full of rings and the doctor is Sonic’ – Tom Cardy (ft bdg), Beautiful Mind.
‘And I’ll blend up that rainbow above you/ and shoot it through your veins’ – Owl City, Rainbow Veins.
‘I got money and fame and fancy clothes/ I got a cat food sponsor deal’ – 2winz², Just One Day.
‘Your waitress was miserable and so was your food’ – Alex Turner, Piledriver Waltz.
‘He keeps begging me to eat me out, I said, / “You gotta take my tampon out with your mouth”’ – Ayesha Erotica, S&M remix.
‘Sixty-nine is the only dinner for two’ – Childish Gambino, Heartbeat.
‘Bish I’m a star but not Patrick’ – Lisa (BLACKPINK), Ddux4 (JP. Ver).
‘The whole world is my daddy / wabi sabi papi’ – Okay Kaya, Mother Nature’s Bitch.
‘Pick my shorts out my ass with my blood-stained hands’ – Ashnikko, Cheerleader.
‘You won’t doo-doo me, I smell TNT’ – Kendrick Lemar, United In Grief.