Holy Shit: This Nerd With A Projector Just Revolutionised The Way We Think About Public Architecture

It is the position of the idiot that all territory buildings should look visually appealing 365 days a year. There is absolutely no need to put any thought whatsoever into designing stimulating public buildings as long as you have a projector and the ability to direct the huge influx of roving masses.

To design a building with even a hint of colour is foolish. It is cheaper to simply project photons than to apply paint and the ability to change designs with ease suits the attention-deficient temperament of the modern citizen.

As someone who has watched many a movie projected onto a high school whiteboard (the optimum viewing standard for your third watch of Lord of the Flies), I have some feedback for the National Capital Authority:

The buildings – let’s square them up to a 16:9 ratio and splash on a coat of off-white. We could reserve 4:3 format for the Film and Sound Archive.

The lawns – please make them less green. A lot of good art has the colour green in it so I think we should change the lawn colour to better suit a projection. If you can’t change the colour I’d suggest replacing lawns with concrete.

Projections on the lake – Lake Burley Griffin takes up a lot of prime projection space, I’m thinking that we can either rejig the water (replace it with milk?) or perhaps lay a floating cover on the surface. Bam! The lake is now a beautiful beach through the power of projection.

Photonic Projection Authority – I think we should issue every citizen with a pocket projector that they may use to project whatever they’d like onto any building.

I suggest you consider replacing snail-mail with digital projections that span tens of kilometres throughout Canberra.

As a final sidenote, can we project sound??? Please look into this.

We acknowledge the Ngunnawal and Ngambri people, who are the Traditional Custodians of the land on which Woroni, Woroni Radio and Woroni TV are created, edited, published, printed and distributed. We pay our respects to Elders past and present. We acknowledge that the name Woroni was taken from the Wadi Wadi Nation without permission, and we are striving to do better for future reconciliation.