Holy Shit: This Nerd With A Projector Just Revolutionised The Way We Think About Public Architecture

It is the position of the idiot that all territory buildings should look visually appealing 365 days a year. There is absolutely no need to put any thought whatsoever into designing stimulating public buildings as long as you have a projector and the ability to direct the huge influx of roving masses.

To design a building with even a hint of colour is foolish. It is cheaper to simply project photons than to apply paint and the ability to change designs with ease suits the attention-deficient temperament of the modern citizen.

As someone who has watched many a movie projected onto a high school whiteboard (the optimum viewing standard for your third watch of Lord of the Flies), I have some feedback for the National Capital Authority:

The buildings – let’s square them up to a 16:9 ratio and splash on a coat of off-white. We could reserve 4:3 format for the Film and Sound Archive.

The lawns – please make them less green. A lot of good art has the colour green in it so I think we should change the lawn colour to better suit a projection. If you can’t change the colour I’d suggest replacing lawns with concrete.

Projections on the lake – Lake Burley Griffin takes up a lot of prime projection space, I’m thinking that we can either rejig the water (replace it with milk?) or perhaps lay a floating cover on the surface. Bam! The lake is now a beautiful beach through the power of projection.

Photonic Projection Authority – I think we should issue every citizen with a pocket projector that they may use to project whatever they’d like onto any building.

I suggest you consider replacing snail-mail with digital projections that span tens of kilometres throughout Canberra.

As a final sidenote, can we project sound??? Please look into this.