Five things to watch out for this ANUSA Election

As the frost begins to melt off Chifley Library, the student politicians begin their inevitable thaw. For all you wide-eyed first years, here are five things to watch out this election season.

1. Stupol promises

What do student politicians and scientologists have in common? They both approach you with promises and have strange, alien-like leaders. Except I’m pretty sure that you’d have better luck on the Church of Scientology delivering on their promises than any ANUSA ticket, and at least Xenu has sick hydrogen bombs, Jack Gaudie only has his luscious red hair.

2. Resume building

As a first-year you might be thinking about going into student politics: it seems fun, you get a shot at being one of those cool BNOC kids, and it looks good on your resume. This way of thinking doesn’t change and almost every student politician has this mindset. They try and put on the façade that they are doing it for the “students” but really it’s all a race to get one more line in the “extra-curricular” section of your resume.

3. Open’s infatuation with large, grey spheres

Open has seemed to be the most inclusive ticket this year, so much so that they have allowed an inanimate object to run for ANUSA! The four meter tall stainless steel sphere has been included in the ticket, and subsequently every single campaign photo. They have gone as far as moulding their entire colour scheme around it: that’s consistency! Unfortunately there are no policies that have been presented which involve the steel ball, but perhaps that might change in the future.

4. Ben Gill’s beanie.

It won him the last election. It has shielded him from impeachment, scandal and even insubordination from his colleagues in ANUSA. Will the knitted piece of headwear pull him over the line again? To follow on with the initial beanie momentum, Sam Duncan has also donned a piece of knitted elegance on his cranium as he runs for secretary in Gill’s ticket. Whilst “Let’s” has embraced the power of headwear, Open and Ready seem to be content to run bare-skulled.

5. Union Court’s transformation into an Ocean.

Donning a beautiful Liberal blue, “Ready” enters the campaign. As we enter election week, Union Court has already begun to flood with Ready campaigners. Armed with questionable policies like the introduction of a discount card, and a divine devotion to their fiery-headed leader, the blue-clad swarms are Ready to walk you into the voting booth this week.

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