Coffee in vase same as coffee in cup

Like it long and black? Soy milk? In a vase perhaps?

It has recently been revealed that coffee in a vase is just as good (if not better) as coffee served in cups. The study was conducted by a group of anonymous arts students who infiltrated Canberra’s most eminent cafes in the search for the explanation behind ridiculous coffee prices and unexplainable art deco. Well, they found none. Which could mean a collapse for the wanky coffee industry in Canberra.

Arts student Johnny Walker, who majors in speech pathology, commented: “while the coffee served in vases, jugs and bison horns is certainly harder to drink, the molecular structure of the coffee brew itself was exactly the same, with the exception of a slightly musty aftertaste.”

The study may come as a shock to many who have switched to a no-cup coffee regime in hopes that it will improve their fitness and longevity in the long-term. Business owner and experienced coffee connoisseur, Peter Ding, who has chosen to serve one of Canberra’s most enjoyed beverages in a bison horn says that he completely disbelieves this evidence and claims that the no-cup coffee must be felt to be believed. In fact, he demands the arts students behind this shocking study to come forward and present their shonky evidence to him personally!

However, the study may have just ticked off more than a few disgruntled owners that in the future may be forced to slash their prices in order to compete with McCafe. It is alleged that hipsters all around the world are planning a boycott due to the indirect damage suffered via their Instagram accounts re: decrease in likes and followers. What they will do? We are unsure, but it may involve some combination of shaving their beards, washing their hands and not wearing ripped denim, all in the glorious name of rebellion.

We acknowledge the Ngunnawal and Ngambri people, who are the Traditional Custodians of the land on which Woroni, Woroni Radio and Woroni TV are created, edited, published, printed and distributed. We pay our respects to Elders past and present. We acknowledge that the name Woroni was taken from the Wadi Wadi Nation without permission, and we are striving to do better for future reconciliation.