Bad Fantasy

I want a boyfriend 

Who lives in a big house

At the end of the street

On the harbour

With smooth stone steps 

A stained-glass door 

Where his mother is waiting 

Arms outstretched 

Asking about the traffic

And what wine I want to drink 

 

His father loves me too

Privately

Behind the silk curtains and the marble walls

Cabinets full of liquor 

Wondering if he could’ve had me

When he was young and beautiful like his boy 

In his best dressed

Staring out at a world that belongs to him

 

My boyfriend has a room

On the second storey

Little palace tucked away 

Facing that calm body of water

Kissed and fed by soft moonlight 

Where we embrace quietly 

In his king sized bed 

And lie intertwined 

 

When I leave in the morning

The teary farewell

I bow down to that big house

Filled with small people

Performing life with such clean precision 

So far away from what I know is real

Too perfect I cannot stay

The place where I am praised

For killing the beating heart 

 

 

 

Originally published in Woroni Vol. 72 Issue 3 ‘Consumed’