The website of the ANU Catholic Society has apparently been hacked by grammatically-stunted home improvement aficionados.

The ANU Catholic Society, according to information available on their own website, now offers students: “Advice For Improving Your Home Made Easy!” Rather than the traditional espousal of the teachings of Christ under the unimpeachable dominion of his holiness Pope Francis, the ANU Catholic Society supposedly now believes that “home advance is the simplest way to access the amount of your home while abacus abundance and style. There are an array of means that you can advance the best to adapt your home. The tips independent in this commodity should advice you accomplish acute decisions apropos your home advance needs [sic].” Ecclesiastical scholars may well puzzle over this passage – even we here at Woroni had difficulty making sense of it.

The extent of the hack included even the “about” section of the website, which described the Church as the “breastwork of a benighted obscurantism”. Whether the Church has acted “obscurantistically” (that is, acting deliberately and systematically to prevent the facts or full details of a matter becoming known) has been a recurrent criticism in recent years, so perhaps we can deduce that the replaced blurb was a politically motivated, albeit verbose, attack on Catholic theology or practice. However, despite the apt lyricism of this one phrase, the rest of the gibberish text seems to suggest the author was merely using an online translator. Woroni’s only comment is that all ANU organisations should really monitor their media more carefully.

We’ll leave you with some parting words from the website, ‘yet the Catholic Home improvement morality has been the abundant apostle of both acceptance and reason, seeing in them not bitter enemies but a affectionate of accessory twins, the break of whom agency the afterlife of both [sic].’

Editor’s note: the Catholic Society’s website has since been restored.