I am rotting by the ocean. The sun is sparkling, the water is pristine, and by all means Spring is springing. I am relaxing on the grass above the rock pool area. The hot wind is filled by the chatter of eager beach goers. In particular, I notice many Irish and English accents gleaming with excitement, the kind of excitement usually followed by the “I just got my two-year working visa approved” spiel. 

I sit cross legged, grateful for my Australian citizenship, and with Sally Rooney’s Intermezzo resting on my lap. I don’t plan on reading it today, but the book makes me feel distinguished. Rather than a run club final boss or self-absorbed sun baker, I am a free thinker, an intellectual who rain-or-shine remains in the determined pursuit of fine narrative. 

And I am surrounded by dearly-missed Sydney friends. In two hours, they all have to leave for work and be enslaved by the draconian ways of capitalism. But right now, I am reaching for a Smidge of baba ganoush whilst balancing a cigarette in my right hand. Right now, life is peak! 

And as my left-hand manoeuvres towards the baba ganoush, I am distracted by a glimmering sight. My friend Luca’s entire torso is wrapped in blue cashmere. He looks like a Smurf-themed merman. He is glowing, he is ethereal, he is the moment! 

But I am dripping in sweat. The pressure to capture Luca the mermaid Smurf in his full glorious flesh is overpowering. Must I channel my inner homosapien? 

Fight? Flight? Freeze?

And the newest edition to human evolutionary responses: 

PHONE. 

“Excellent choice,” I mutter to myself whilst quickly grabbing my iPhone.

“Excellent choice?” Ruby interjects. “This song has been playing on repeat for the last 10 minutes”

“This song?” I reply in disgust. She’s made it personal, and I wasn’t even talking to her. 

“This song is a beach house remix of Kylie Minogue’s classic Love at First Sight and in Canberra they would froth this shit,” I add for the intentional sting. 

But she doesn’t even wince.

“Ok I don’t care, just gimme the speakers so I can queue other songs.” 

I reach for the speaker, only because it is situated in-between the baba ganoush and Luca the Smurfmaid. 

If I am lucky, I can snap an iconic photo, get some baba ganoush and defer aux duties to Ruby, in one fell swoop. 

Carefully, I retrieve the speaker. I resist the urge to peg it at Ruby for questioning my aux duties that were divinely ordained by the powers vested in Kylie Minogue and beach house. 

In my right hand, I hover my phone over the baba ganoush and Luca’s face. I focus in on my subject; I need to get his mermaid figure and the Maroubra coastline all in one shot.  But the angle is limited; I must pick one. 

Maroubra or mermaid.

Maroubra or mermaid.

I feel like Neo being offered the red pill or the blue pill and I can’t have both. I can’t have both. 

Telepathically sensing my dilemma, Luca the Smurfmaid speaks.

“Turn the phone horizontally,” he utters wisely.

I listen to Smurfmaid.

I balance the phone on both of my hands, relinquishing attention from the baba ganoush and directing it to Smurfmaid. The cigarette that has been precariously balancing between my pinky finger and thumb is ready to be ashed out. 

But I am about to capture my National Geographic money shot. 

I press click. The beach is silent, nothing exists but Luca the Smurfmaid, the Maroubra coastline and the baba ganoush. 

I zoom in, triumphant. And in the act, my grip shifts — the cigarette drops, plummeting straight into the baba ganoush.

Nature, friendship, chaos, ash all in one frame. 

And I notice, even as ash swirls through the baba ganoush that the sun is still sparkling, the water is still pristine, and Spring keeps insisting on springing. 

In one fleeting afternoon I find the essence of Midsem; messy, grounding and gone too soon.