Drawn image of translucent bug.

100 per cent Transparent Troglobitic Isopod Crustacean Finishes Up 30 Million Year Preparation for ANUSA Just One Month After Voting Closes

This brave troglobitic isopod crustacean began its extraordinary campaign close to 30 000 millennia ago with one radical idea not yet implemented in student politics: achieve an entirely transparent form.

This effort has come to a tragic end, due to a failure to account for minor shifts in the distance between Earth and the Sun, which occurred over the course of this little bug’s entire evolutionary span – what a fucking idiot.

Inhabiting an underground cave system for the whole period of the species’ existence, it has evolved to be entirely transparent through a lack of exposure to light. This sort of strategy has never been employed before in an ANUSA election – although living in the cave that is the BKSS might certainly constitute a prerequisite to running.

‘Shit Happens’, an autobiographical post-mortem of the campaign will be released in two weeks. You can find it at all good bookstores.

We acknowledge the Ngunnawal and Ngambri people, who are the Traditional Custodians of the land on which Woroni, Woroni Radio and Woroni TV are created, edited, published, printed and distributed. We pay our respects to Elders past and present. We acknowledge that the name Woroni was taken from the Wadi Wadi Nation without permission, and we are striving to do better for future reconciliation.